Monday, May 08, 2006

 

Speaking in Blaine English

OK, maybe this just being nitpicky, but isn't there something wrong with very title of this latest stunt by magician/illusionist/nothing-better-to-do David Blaine? It's called "Drowned Alive". Isn't that just the most absurd oxymoron you can imagine? "Drowned Alive" -- as opposed to what?

"Drowned Dead"?

His earlier stunt, "
Buried Alive," made sense. He was covered under six feet of Plexiglas tank filled with 4000 pounds of water and had to survive for seven days. He did it.

But, the fact is that the presumption is that the only people who are buried are, generally, dead -- thus, the fact that he is willingly burying himself, while still alive, the wonder of the stunt is obvious.

However, someone who drowns is, well, by definition "alive" until they are dead. A corpse can't drown because it's already dead. The point of this stunt is whether Blaine can hold his breath for nine minutes -- or risk drowning. I'm not saying that this is a wonderful test of endurance, but if he drowns, he drowns.

He will have been alive -- and then he'll die from lack of oxygen.

He'll be dead.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Wasting ridiculous amounts of time on a guy looking to make attention for himself.

But, still, these grammatical things really annoy me!


UPDATE: And, of course, Blaine can't quite pull it off. He neither manages to hold his breath for the record, escape his confinement without assistance -- nor even drown (alive or dead)! Geez, it's enough to make one lose faith in humanity! Hmmm...does his failure mean that Blaine is now, um, all "washed up"? Hope he plans on fully coming clean with the details of this stunt. Of course, it's no skin off my nose, if he doesn't. Hey, folks -- whatever floats your boat!

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