Sunday, January 14, 2007


Ragged Thots Retro Record Review

Got 99 Problems, Plus Boxer is One
RAG's disgust below with the staccato siren of the solon of Sacramento serves as the starting point for Sunday's sonic
soirée (forgive me, I'm a student of the Agnew Academy of Alliteration). So, since I really don't have an album review for this week readied, I thought I'd highlight a great song that fits the bloviating of Boxer and her cheap shot at Secretary Rice and any woman, Republican or Democrat, that chooses not to fall in line with the shrill harpies of left-liberal feminism.

"P-Control" - Prince
Since this is Prince, the "P" actually stands for a word that would not be polite to spell out in mixed company. We'll just paraphrase Barbara Bush and say, "Rhymes with Wussie." Now, once you get past the coda's masculine bravado and the gratuitously peppered expletives, this is actually a great song about female advancement. "P-Control" was the first track off of the Munchkin of Minneapolis' 1995 album, The Gold Experience. When I first heard the CD, I thought that Symbol-Man was returning to his former greatness (he lost me after the lamp-shade video, around 1992). Unfortunately, he then dropped that triple-sized turd Emancipation on the public, and I realized we were still in the reign of Purple Pain.

Clean up the lyrics, and "P-Control" could be Condaleeza Rice's theme song! A little black girl endures the pathologies of the inner city, learns the benefit of delayed gratification versus the instant gratification of today's youth culture, and keeps her mind focused on academics until she becomes a power-broker:

Our story begins in a schoolyard
A little girl skipping rope with her friends
A tisket, a tasket, no lunch in her basket
Just school books 4 the fight she would be in

Think of this as the punk-funk version of Bill Cosby's current lectures around the country. And even though our Secretary of State is a tad too demure to sing the penultimate verse, it contains a wonderful line that would have served as a fine b-slap to Boxer, Cynthia McKinney, Maxine Waters, and Donna Brazille ("Three sisters and a weepy-eyed white girl / driving a hog").

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