Friday, February 16, 2007


Cool Aid

Whoo! Folks worldwide is gettin'
fired up. It's getting hot in here, so take off all your prose: Everyone's favorite concert promoter, Don Kirshner Al Gore is planning the Mother of All Battles of the Bands. Look out, Band Aid! Move over, USA for Africa! Put your Hands Across America together for The Concert to Prevent Global Warming.

U2 and Coldplay are among the rumored acts. With that much sanctimonious rock ego and hot air in one place, I think Global Warming may become MORE of a problem. Don't expect a diverse selection of music, as we all know that jazz musicians are responsible for Global Warming and would be persona non grata. What if it gets too hot and the protests get out of hand? Will there be Global Rioting?

Of course, there are many logistical problems that need to be worked out for a concert of this magnitude. Who will they get to sing the National Anthem? Who will Gore supporters get to spit on Cub Scouts DURING the National Anthem? What will extraterrestrial life forms observing from deep space think, when they see millions of people the world over joining Al Gore in his favorite dance of all time?

The only one of these charitable egofests that I ever wished to attend (but was too young at the time and lived on the wrong continent) was The Concerts for The People of Kampuchea. Now, if you had a time machine and could return to any of the big musical guiltfests of the past, which one would you attend? A concert with wankers like Lionel Richie, Sting, Springsteen, and Bono; or a kickass series with The Specials, Elvis Costello, Paul McCartney and Wings, The Who, Rockpile, The Clash and the Pretenders? In case you're wondering, Sherman, join Mr. Peabody in a trip backward nearly three decades (30 years? Wow, I'm getting old!):

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