Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Promise Keeper, Commandment Breaker

Nevada Republican Sen. John Ensign announced Tuesday that, while separated from his wife last year, he had an affair with a staffer. Ensign's been mentioned as a possible 2012 GOP candidate -- already having made some early visits to Iowa.

He presented something of a novel way of damage control: A member of the fidelity-pledging Promise Keepers, he confessed while simultaneously declaring that he was something of a victim -- of a blackmail plot from the cuckoled husband of his former mistress.

To make matter worse/better, the husband also previously worked for the senator. Apparently there is bipartisan interest in San Francisco Democratic Mayor Gavin Newsom's Guide For Picking Up Chicks, rule No. 1 of which is, "Hit on the staffer's wife!"

Sometimes adultery just isn't enough: The true alpha-male needs that extra-special jolt to the johnson one gets by also humiliating a guy on your payroll!

In fairness to Ensign, unlike his fellow Nevada Republican, Gov. Jim Gibbons, as yet there no reports of physical battery of his wife or cheating on his mistress with another woman. (At one point, Gibbons' text messaging habit was threatening to make him the Kwame Kilpatrick of the GOP.)

One final question: while dating a guy named Ensign, how many times did his mistress have to "request permission to come aboard"?

Just asking.

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